The five worst Christmas presents on Earth

By Alex Oxborough

Here at Brighton Lite we love Christmas. It’s a chance to eat and drink, and um… spread goodwill and um… GET PRESENTS!

Yeah, yeah it’s meant to be about the joy of giving and all that, but who hasn’t thought to themselves “Oh I wish I could have that for Christmas?” while gazing at a car/handbag/bottle of gin?

Well for all those of us who are unlikely to be given a stocking containing the keys to Mayfair penthouse, First Class tickets to New York and a Nobel Peace Prize, then at least count yourself lucky if you don’t get any of this old tosh:

1.    Christmas socks. Unaccountably popular these, but essentially the poster kid for rubbish presents. Are you expected to change into them on the day? Are you expected to keep them for next year? What? Why?

2.    A grow your own mushroom kit. Somewhat specific this one, but as a young girl I had my festive heart broken by unwrapping this bad boy. I thought it was a Cindy car. I was forever damaged.

3.    Silver money clip. To misquote the popular adage, possessing a silver money clip is God’s way of telling you that you have too much money. Get it melted, give the profits away.

4.    Self help books. My cat once gave me a copy of “101 poems to keep you sane”. Sarcastic cow.

5.    Bath salts.  A sweet thought from your Nan, a frank insult from anyone else.

What do you think are the worst Christmas presents on Earth? Tell us below!

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